Raising Hope

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MON 8/7c MAY 20

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Lost

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My mom was taking my "losing it" grandpa cross country to visit my aunt in California. While on the plane, a baby starts crying. Confused, my grandpa looks around and claims, "There's a chicken on this plane!" As if that wasn't enough, after landing, an Asian woman was at the airport with her arms wide to greet her arriving family. Grandpa thought that the hug was for him.

Relatives

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When I was a baby, my mom used to tie me to a stone with some line to walk on. I was kinda wild and restless and could not sit still for long, so my mom found out that that was the solution for me not to run away. When my grandma had me while my parents was on holiday, she did the same thing when she was in the potato field. They did give me some toys to play with, though.

Real Dumb

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My family went to Chicago by train, so we had no means of transportation there. My uncle decided we should go to the other side of Chicago. We couldn't find a large taxi, so we asked a small one how many of us could fit. He replied, "As many as you can." There we go, 9 people fitting in a small compact car. My little sister and cousin laid across us!

Vacation

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We were so poor that, one Thanksgiving, we could not afford a turkey or any kind of meat except for bologna. So, we took a head of lettuce and attached bologna to the sides for wings, and that was our Thanksgiving turkey. We thanked the Lord for family and each other and happily ate the whole thing!

Relatives

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We were camping in a motor home. My granny thought we parked behind trees, so she went to potty without closing the shades in the bathroom. Mom went in afterwards and saw two boys laughing hysterically. Mom asked granny if she had shut the blinds when she pottied. Granny said no. Mom told her come and look. It turned out granny had mooned them!

Family Outing

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One time, my family and I went camping. We only had a tent and it was pouring! We decided to go into town to get tarps. My brother wanted us all to listen to "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al. We hadn't heard it before. My father cranks up the stereo with the windows rolled down. All of a sudden we are surrounded by Amish buggies! Dad laughed so hard he couldn't breathe!

Family Outing

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There's a "drive-thru safari" nearby where you can feed exotic animals from the presumed safety of your car. One visit culminated in a buffalo attempting to climb through my window, but top honors go to my dad. Within two minutes of his first visit, he got into a fight with an ostrich. It was a tie, but he still holds a grudge against the "velociraptors of the Serengeti."

Vacation

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This past summer, I was hungry so I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. I found a bowl of mac n' cheese my grandma made. I love pasta so I grabbed a fork and sat down to eat. Halfway through the bowl, however, I stopped and looked at my fork. Upon closer inspection, I realized the specks of pepper had LEGS. New fave meal: mac n' cheese n' beetles.

Vacation

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My grandmother truly believed my mother was born in a spaceship. My brother and I used to visit when we were children and we wouldn't know where she was at different points during our stay. She would be out in the corn field because they had landed or she would be on the deck with her flashlight communicating with them. I have lots of CRAZY stories. I could go on and on.

Vacation

Related

We had a big old Victorian house and many huge boxwoods. One summer we got back from a vacation. Three of the boxwoods had died and turned white. Dad was in a fine fettle trying to find large shrubs to replace them. A few days later, I noticed the shrubs were perfect. I also found 9 empty spray cans of green paint in the kitchen.

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