Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
My sister bought a new dress and Spanx to go under her new dress. Her husband was out of town while she was doing this. She went to have her dress altered and put the Spanx on and then sent a text to her husband and me: "Have Spanx on. Can't breathe. Call 911." I laughed while her husband called the police, who went to her house and knocked the door down.
My cousins moved into a house where homeless people had lived. For a couple of years, anyone who visited that house would break out with pus-filled bumps. A small bug would grow underneath the skin. The doctor would have to cut the skin and pop the blister. No insurance meant my mom was our MD. She would make us bathe in dog soap. It sucked, but it worked!
Usually my dad would hit us with a shoe or make us cut a branch off of our tree and whip us with that. One day, he was listening to music on one of those old school alarm radios. He was so upset that all 4 of us kids were fighting that he just got up, cut the cord, and whipped us silly! The funny thing is that later we saw him frustrated trying to fix his radio!
My mom was driving through our neighborhood and I saw a baby bird in the road. I asked her to stop and got out. I picked it up to put it near a tree and its parents started attacking me. My mom heard my screams and, instead of getting out to help, she panicked, pressed on the gas pedal, and left me behind. I ended up running a mile after her, bird still in hand.
My mom was driving on the highway, talking to my brother, when all off a sudden he stops talking and starts screaming. Of course, my mom can't see what's going on so she starts screaming. As she does, her foot starts pressing harder against the gas pedal. So now we're doing 120 mph and we're all screaming but for different reasons. Later, my brother said a frog scared him.
My mom was taking my "losing it" grandpa cross country to visit my aunt in California. While on the plane, a baby starts crying. Confused, my grandpa looks around and claims, "There's a chicken on this plane!" As if that wasn't enough, after landing, an Asian woman was at the airport with her arms wide to greet her arriving family. Grandpa thought that the hug was for him.
My mom always threatened to sing if we didn't buckle our seat belts so we always buckled! One time, when a friend came along, we went to a drive-in for hamburgers. We kept touching my autistic brother to bug him and he got so mad that mom said, "Quiet down or I'll sing!" We didn't quit. Right when the guy asked for our order, mom sang our order in a loud opera voice. AHHH!
My mother married my dad's brother. So, my mother is my aunt and my uncle is my dad, which means my sister is my cousin, my brother is my cousin, and my cousins are now my brother and fives sisters. That's not the end of it. By my reckoning, my daughters and sons are my nephews and nieces, as well. Oh, and I am my own cousin. Fortunately, Grandma and Grandpa remain same.
My ten year old asked me one day, "How do actors act in slow motion? Like on that movie the other night when Hayden Christenson ran and jumped behind the couch while shooting! I tried that, and I just fell!" Only thing I thought was, "Where was I and where was my nanny cam?"
of Raising Hope