Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Your experiences

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Crazy Stories:

Scarred For Life

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When I was 14, I went to visit my grandma. One day, I called my mom crying that grandma told me to come out of the closet! My mom's response was what are you doing in grandma's closet? I'm now happily married with two kids and it's funny but at 14? Not so much. Many more stories, but this always sticks out! LMAO!

Scarred For Life

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My whole childhood, my dad had me convinced that I didn't like Reese's Cups. He would take them out of my Halloween candy every year. I tried one when I was 13 and discovered that I love Reese's Cups! My dad is a sneaky, manipulative candy thief! Growing up, every time I cried, my older sister and older brother would clap and shout, "She gets an Emmy"! I rarely cry now.

Lucky to be Alive

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As a kid, I never knew that treating lice the way my parents did was both illegal/dangerous. My parents killed two birds with one stone. We lived in a duplex full of roaches. They would spray where the roaches lived and sprayed our heads to kill the lice we had gotten at school. They would wrap our heads with grocery store bags. I can still feel the lice moving! ;/

Hazard

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My grandma and grandpa often drink, resulting in arguments. Recently, grandpa really ticked off grandma during one of their many drunken arguments, so she stabbed him. He went to the hospital, lied and said he got mugged, and they're still living happily, or unhappily ever after under the same roof. Grandma often complains that grandpa can't let stuff go.

Real Dumb

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Growing up, we had a family tradition of an alcohol grab bag on Christmas Eve. Somehow, this drinking theme turned awkward and "spankers" got involved. The spankers were fly swatters that were shaped like hands and said "spank" on them. When my grandma got the spanker, she chased my grandpa around my house for an hour trying to spank him. Not okay! Merry Christmas!

Relatives

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We didn't have seat belts or maximum car capacity when I was a child. We all piled into the station wagon any way we could. I got stuck next to the door and tried to get a better position. I used the door lever and ended up with Grandma holding my feet with a close-up view of the ground. Luckily, we were in the cemetery and only going 5 mph. I was 8 years old at the time.

Scarred For Life

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When I was little, I used to play "who is going to cry first," my older sister's favorite game. My sister never touched me, but I never won a single game because my sister used mental torture. Worst of all, she is really proud of that.

Real Dumb

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I'm the oldest of 5. My mother is a hair dresser and my father is a prison guard. However, my father did the cooking and laundry my mother taught me how to drywall. I convinced my sister you had to water rocks or they would turn to sand. The same sister was dropped from a dog leash that was suspended from a tree.

Real Dumb

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My grandfather passed away while traveling. At his funeral, we couldn't get his ashes, so aunt scooped up some fireplace ashes and put them into the temporary urn. During the mass, the minster opened the box, coughed, and gave us a strange look. When he dumped them into the real urn, it tipped over and fell all over the altar. Everyone gasped but me and my aunt.

Relatives

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I am the youngest of 7. When my parents went out, my older siblings babysat me. We played hide-n-seek. My brother would help me. He'd put me someplace snug, like the top shelf of the linen closet. He'd hide me so well, I'd fall asleep waiting. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that my siblings finally told me that their version was to leave me asleep. I was easy to sit.

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