Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Relatives

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My little cousin made up a story about me having drugs under my bed. It was a complete lie. He was no stranger to telling ridiculous lies. It was a phase. He told me he was gonna tell my parents what he "found," so I made up a story about him using the kitty litter box to do his bathroom business. To this day, I bring up pooping in the cat box to keep him in line!

Vacation

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When I was 14, I went to visit my grandma. One day, I called my mom crying that grandma told me to come out of the closet! My mom's response was what are you doing in grandma's closet? I'm now happily married with two kids and it's funny but at 14? Not so much. Many more stories, but this always sticks out! LMAO!

Crazy Parent

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My whole childhood, my dad had me convinced that I didn't like Reese's Cups. He would take them out of my Halloween candy every year. I tried one when I was 13 and discovered that I love Reese's Cups! My dad is a sneaky, manipulative candy thief! Growing up, every time I cried, my older sister and older brother would clap and shout, "She gets an Emmy"! I rarely cry now.

Sufferin’ Siblings

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My cousins moved into a house where homeless people had lived. For a couple of years, anyone who visited that house would break out with pus-filled bumps. A small bug would grow underneath the skin. The doctor would have to cut the skin and pop the blister. No insurance meant my mom was our MD. She would make us bathe in dog soap. It sucked, but it worked!

Hazard

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As a kid, I never knew that treating lice the way my parents did was both illegal/dangerous. My parents killed two birds with one stone. We lived in a duplex full of roaches. They would spray where the roaches lived and sprayed our heads to kill the lice we had gotten at school. They would wrap our heads with grocery store bags. I can still feel the lice moving! ;/

Crazy Parent

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Usually my dad would hit us with a shoe or make us cut a branch off of our tree and whip us with that. One day, he was listening to music on one of those old school alarm radios. He was so upset that all 4 of us kids were fighting that he just got up, cut the cord, and whipped us silly! The funny thing is that later we saw him frustrated trying to fix his radio!

Emergency Room

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My grandma and grandpa often drink, resulting in arguments. Recently, grandpa really ticked off grandma during one of their many drunken arguments, so she stabbed him. He went to the hospital, lied and said he got mugged, and they're still living happily, or unhappily ever after under the same roof. Grandma often complains that grandpa can't let stuff go.

Holiday Horror

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Growing up, we had a family tradition of an alcohol grab bag on Christmas Eve. Somehow, this drinking theme turned awkward and "spankers" got involved. The spankers were fly swatters that were shaped like hands and said "spank" on them. When my grandma got the spanker, she chased my grandpa around my house for an hour trying to spank him. Not okay! Merry Christmas!

Relatives

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We didn't have seat belts or maximum car capacity when I was a child. We all piled into the station wagon any way we could. I got stuck next to the door and tried to get a better position. I used the door lever and ended up with Grandma holding my feet with a close-up view of the ground. Luckily, we were in the cemetery and only going 5 mph. I was 8 years old at the time.

Sufferin’ Siblings

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When I was little, I used to play "who is going to cry first," my older sister's favorite game. My sister never touched me, but I never won a single game because my sister used mental torture. Worst of all, she is really proud of that.

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