Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
After my mom and dad divorced, my dad's brother married my mom. So, my uncle is my dad and my mom is my aunt, my sister is my cousin, and my brother is also my cousin. Furthermore, my cousin is my sister, now, and her brother is my brother instead of my cousin. I think my daughter is my niece and I am my own - well, I'm really not sure. Fortunately, Gramma is still Gramma.
On a road trip with my uncle and my newly-divorced mom, my uncle thought passing gas was funny so he did it A LOT. It was awful so I complained loudly. Fart, complain, fart, complain, fart, complain. Finally my mom had enough and pulled onto the shoulder of the busy freeway, made us get out, and she drove away. She drove quite a while before coming back to get us.
My cousin got a raisin stuck up his nose at a family get-together. Those things absorb water and triple in size when they're in the nostril. It was like childbirth watching it emerge. After some Lamaze breathing and a lot of coaching, it finally made its way back down the nasal canal. We christened it Ray.
Growing up I thought it was normal for the adults to announce, "We're opening the wine! Go get all the kids," then proceed to serve small glasses of wine to each child over the age of eight. As I got older, I realized that this was not normal and that my mom and aunt would get my grandma to drink then make a drinking game based on any time she cussed or talked about sex.
My parents sent my two teenaged brothers to pick up a dead relative from the hospital and transport her body to her relatives via horse and cart. This had to be done in the evening and, back in those days, we had no electricity. My brothers both fell asleep and realized as they approached her relative's home, the body was missing. We never stop laughing when he tells it.
My mom was married to her partner for seventeen years (who raised me as well). When she passed away, my stepmom and mother in law started dating. I now have a step mother in law. They live together and are raising my wife's siblings. Also, my brother dated my wife when he was 16. I also dated his wife before they dated. We are a very abnormal/dysfunctional bunch :)
My two older sisters decided they wanted to play cowboys and cows. As the youngest and smallest, I was the cow. They wrestled me down and then my older sister proceeded to the fire place and withdrew the fire poker. I struggled to get away when I saw the red hot poker coming at me. Thank goodness our mother walked in and saved me! To this day, I have no tattoos.
At 2 years old, I was returned to my parents' doorstep by our trash collector and, luckily, friend of my father's. I had managed to wander 2-1/2 miles away from home (losing my diaper along the way), ending up at the intersection of Lakeline Blvd. and HWY 183. I am lucky to be alive and I believe my parents have since recovered from this experience.
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