Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
One summer, my family was enjoying vanilla drumsticks. My father was double-handing a drumstick and a mug of coffee. He started telling us about his uninteresting day at work. It was blocked from my mind as a passing bird pooped into his mug of coffee. My dad thought that what had just collided at terminal velocity was ice cream and licked it off. Scream for ice cream!
One 4th of July, my family and friends were enjoying a fine time with beer, booze, & homemade explosives. We were rudely interrupted by a lunatic neighbor screaming about how we were going to blow up his house. He screamed on and on about how it was illegal. My dad's crazy friend ran out with an decommissioned WW2 grenade and screamed, "Is THIS illegal?" The neighbor fled.
I live in a 60-year-old manufactured smoke-detectorless, fire hazard, clutterbomb mess of a house with my parents, sister, and our own private zoo. I thought it would be a good idea to get fire protection (in the form of Jiffy POP). It was a good idea because my sister fell asleep while cooking something on the stove and the kitchen caught fire. POP POP extinguisher!
Once, I heard a crackling noise coming from the hall. My dog was eating a plastic bag! He was fine, but the next day he had to go to the bathroom and my mom had to stand there to make sure he didn't run off. She saw something shiny coming out of him. It was a needle that he ate! We took him to the vet, who said he was fine. Lucky!
Once, I was with my uncle and we were driving to some museum really far away. He took the wrong turn off making us set back by an hour and when he stopped for gas he came out with a Willie Nelson CD and had me listen to that and other really old country music the rest of the trip there and back!
I once hid in the hallway bathroom, lights off, wearing a scream costume to scare my aunt as she walked down the hallway to her room. Unfortunately, my grandpa had decided to make a bathroom trip. With his pants around his ankles, he jumped from side to side and screamed a few profanities as I confessed that it was me. He had just had a heart attack 2 weeks before.
We were at Wal-Mart & all wore big jackets. We took off those jackets & my dad put all of them in a ball. We thought the ball looked like a baby covered in a jacket & we named it "George". My dad jokingly made crying sounds, hit George & said "Stop crying! Stop crying, George!". Everyone looked at us, ready to call Child Support while we were laughing our butts off!
My mom went on a trip to Mexico and I was left with my dad and 15 year old brother. My brother and dad didn't know how to brush my hair or comb it, so I was screaming for my life. I have curly, frizzy brown hair so my dad put my brother's clothes on me, took me outside, washed my hair with the hose, and put dog conditioner in my hair. What a wonderful dad!
My mom thinks that whenever I watch YouTube, I am using a webcam, interacting with the video currently playing. So now she thinks I know a hamster on a piano, that I know a 400 pound booty dancer, and that my "friend" makes documentaries about honey badgers. When I try to tell her I don't know these people, she just says "stop making excuses for your weird friends."
of Raising Hope