Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
One afternoon at work, my dad was shredding papers. As he leaned over the shredder to grab a sheet, the tie he was wearing happened to dangle close enough to activate the shredder's motion sensors. All of a sudden his tie began to shred, choking him! At the last minute, my dad was able to cut off his tie. For the rest of the day, he had a nubby tie.
My dad is DUMB. If it wasn't so fun watching him screw up, it would be sad. We had a door that was sticking on the TOP. He removed it and shaved off an inch from the BOTTOM, He hung it back up, it still stuck so he took it down, shaved more off and so on. The door STILL sticks. Now when our cat wants to come in from outside, he puts his whole head under the door and meows!
I learned early on not to piss off Auntie. She thought her husband was having an affair and she actually nailed his workbooks to the floor and super glued his ***** to his leg (while he was sleeping). He stayed married to her for another couple of years. He probably wanted to leave quietly!
My dad's family is flipping bananas. One year, I got a dead rat for Christmas as a "joke." We had to start a No Dead Crap rule for gift giving. An aunt taped her dog's ear with duct tape instead of taking him to the vet after he ripped it. She also has old garage doors around her above ground pool for a privacy fence. The city fined her for all the crap in her yard.
When we were kids, we moved around a lot. One night after a recent move, my brother got up to pee. He walked across the hall into the linen closet and let loose (he thought it was the bathroom). The next morning, we smelled urine and opened the closet door to see that not only had he peed in there but he hadn't even aimed! There were wet spots from ceiling to carpet!
On a school ski trip, I decided to go snowboarding. I stunk. Strangely, I passed it then we had to go down the hill. I tried, but I fell and could not get up. I accidentally knocked down the instructor's board. The guy started to yell at me then ran down hill. When he came back up he yelled again and told me the board had hit a little girl.
My family is very redneck and I mean my first driving lesson was on a 4X4 course. So one summer, the field at my house was filled with junk cars and my dad decided he was going to be a monster truck driver and drive over the cars.... It was quite entertaining and we got in trouble by the neighbors. Now he's living his dream as an actual monster truck driver.
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