Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
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We have two dogs, an older mild-mannered sweetie and a greedy little puppy. One Christmas, they each got a bone. The puppy immediately hid his. A few minutes later, he came back and, when the older one wasn't looking, the puppy stole his bone too! Ironically, the puppy had hidden them in the older dog's bed. The bones went back and forth in a game of "Steal that Bone."
Once, my aunt and uncle were out at my house, shooting a gun after dark, and the neighbors called the cops. My aunt is in the army. When the cops finally showed up, my three-legged dog tried to bite the officer. The officer said, "I love me some three-legged dog" and then he told them to stop shooting the guns.
Our dog is super smart. We knew he would be because he was the only dog who looked at the camera in the photo. Whenever my friends are over, my mom makes dinner while we walk him. My dog, knowing there's food, tries to skip out of the walk and go back to the house. We force him to walk. He pretends to sniff all around until we realized he was leading us back to the house!
My sister makes up crazy names and stories. She called my shih tzu "minconet wasabi gina rose dawn choy gartner," and claimed she was not a dog but in fact a guinea pig. We found out two months later that my dog is actually one quarter sloth and three quarters pygmy marmacet, and she immigrated from the Amazon, only to discover her true love for pepperoni pizza.
My little cousin was just learning to speak when she came to visit my aunt. Since she lives in a different state, we all came to see her. Now, my aunt had just gotten a new cat, Venus. Paige hadn't quite learned her V's yet, so she walked around the house calling, 'Penus, Penus, come here! Where's my Penus?"
Last Christmas, my uncle from Virginia, who is a chef, brought a smoked turkey. My dad left the frozen turkey on a table outside to thaw. Then my brother let his dog Walter out. Walter is a puggle (pug/beagle) so he is kind of short. About 10 minutes later, my brother said, "Walter's eating the turkey!" He ate half the turkey! My dad was really mad.
My dad's family is flipping bananas. One year, I got a dead rat for Christmas as a "joke." We had to start a No Dead Crap rule for gift giving. An aunt taped her dog's ear with duct tape instead of taking him to the vet after he ripped it. She also has old garage doors around her above ground pool for a privacy fence. The city fined her for all the crap in her yard.
My daughter was about two years old, eating a mini box of raisins and, when she spilled them, she proceeded to eat them off the floor. At that time our long-haired cat walked by with a small turd stuck in his fur. She snatched the turd off his butt and ate it. I asked,"Alex, are you sure that was a raisin?" She puckered up and shook her head no.
My Japanese grandmother has some unusual superstitions, which my mother carried into adulthood. One of them was that if cats clean behind their ears it won't rain. My mother observed one cat cleaning their ears and the other not cleaning behind their ears.She called my grandmother to ask what this meant to which grandma replied, "Partly cloudy" My mother still believes it.
My 4-yr-old knew all the proper terms for things, so when we took his kitten to the vet, I told him Pi was going to be neutered. He asked what that was, so I told him the cat was going to get clipped. At the vet's, I put the crate on a stool by the check-in desk. My son proudly put his hand on it and said to the receptionist, this is Pi & he's here for his manicure.
of Raising Hope