Raising Hope

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Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Lucky to be Alive

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One 4th of July, my family and friends were enjoying a fine time with beer, booze, & homemade explosives. We were rudely interrupted by a lunatic neighbor screaming about how we were going to blow up his house. He screamed on and on about how it was illegal. My dad's crazy friend ran out with an decommissioned WW2 grenade and screamed, "Is THIS illegal?" The neighbor fled.

Real Dumb

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When I was little, my mom used to make two types of fruit slushies: one mixed with a lot of vodka and the other plain for the kids. One Christmas, she took them out and served them to the kids and relatives. It wasn't until later that night that we realized
she had mixed up the vodka and regular slushies!

Holiday Horror

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A few years ago on Christmas day, all of the family headed to my Grandma's house -- or least that's what I thought. Actually, all the adults went shopping but there was only generic clothing left. Let's just say that nobody was very happy that year.

Neighbors

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My mom told me that when I was about three years old, I dressed as a dog for Halloween. Once I saw my neighbor, who was dressed as a princess, I started to cry, so my mom took me back home. That was the end of that Halloween!

Relatives

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At my husband's aunt's new house for Christmas dinner, I was helping in the kitchen. My husband was in the game room with the guys. Later, everyone was in the kitchen to say grace except my husband. Then we see the light (over the island and ALL the food) dripping. My husband had overflowed the toilet in the bathroom upstairs and it was dripping onto Christmas dinner!

Scarred For Life

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My whole childhood, my dad had me convinced that I didn't like Reese's Cups. He would take them out of my Halloween candy every year. I tried one when I was 13 and discovered that I love Reese's Cups! My dad is a sneaky, manipulative candy thief! Growing up, every time I cried, my older sister and older brother would clap and shout, "She gets an Emmy"! I rarely cry now.

Real Dumb

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Growing up, we had a family tradition of an alcohol grab bag on Christmas Eve. Somehow, this drinking theme turned awkward and "spankers" got involved. The spankers were fly swatters that were shaped like hands and said "spank" on them. When my grandma got the spanker, she chased my grandpa around my house for an hour trying to spank him. Not okay! Merry Christmas!

Pets

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We have two dogs, an older mild-mannered sweetie and a greedy little puppy. One Christmas, they each got a bone. The puppy immediately hid his. A few minutes later, he came back and, when the older one wasn't looking, the puppy stole his bone too! Ironically, the puppy had hidden them in the older dog's bed. The bones went back and forth in a game of "Steal that Bone."

Holiday Horror

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For a Halloween party, my mom made a huge centerpiece of Frankenstein out of cheese, olives, and pretzels. Halfway through the party Frankenstein (or Cheesen-stein) started melting and looked a little lopsided, so she threw him away. The next morning my stepdad opened the lid only to find this large piece of cheese. Being the cheapskate he is, he ate it for lunch!

Hazard

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My family went to Chicago by train, so we had no means of transportation there. My uncle decided we should go to the other side of Chicago. We couldn't find a large taxi, so we asked a small one how many of us could fit. He replied, "As many as you can." There we go, 9 people fitting in a small compact car. My little sister and cousin laid across us!

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