Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Friends

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A few years ago my friends and I decided to go upstairs and make some food at about 2:00 a.m. We had absolutely no idea that my friend Steven's mom was sleeping in the living room. Anyway, we took some macaroni and cheese and put it in the microwave. While it cooked, we went into the living room to wait. I sat RIGHT on top of his mom's head!

Scarred For Life

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My father was going to work on a Saturday. I was about 7 yrs old. He decided it would be a good idea to leave me at the school playground across the street and he let me play while he worked. I have no idea how long I was there, but at some point, I remember needing to use the bathroom badly! I could not cross the street by myself, so I ended up having an accident.

Hazard

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When my sibling was diagnosed with an ear infection, Mom took him to see the doctor. The doctor gave a prescription of amoxicillin. My Mom wasn't sure what to do so she asked her sister-in-law to help. It took the two of them to hold the kid down to pour the amoxicillin into his ear! It was supposed to be given to him by mouth! True story! The most amazing Mom ever!

Pets

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My dad's family is flipping bananas. One year, I got a dead rat for Christmas as a "joke." We had to start a No Dead Crap rule for gift giving. An aunt taped her dog's ear with duct tape instead of taking him to the vet after he ripped it. She also has old garage doors around her above ground pool for a privacy fence. The city fined her for all the crap in her yard.

Police

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My crazy kids keep getting thrown in jail. I refused to spend another dime on video games or beer, so they got the smart idea to rob the local liquor stores.

Emergency Room

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I learned early on not to piss off Auntie. She thought her husband was having an affair and she actually nailed his workbooks to the floor and super glued his ***** to his leg (while he was sleeping). He stayed married to her for another couple of years. He probably wanted to leave quietly!

Property Damage

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One afternoon at work, my dad was shredding papers. As he leaned over the shredder to grab a sheet, the tie he was wearing happened to dangle close enough to activate the shredder's motion sensors. All of a sudden his tie began to shred, choking him! At the last minute, my dad was able to cut off his tie. For the rest of the day, he had a nubby tie.

Lucky to be Alive

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My dad's clothes weren't done drying yet, so Einstein put his still damp underwear in the microwave, set it on high, and then walked away. Within seconds, the kitchen filled with acrid black smoke. He boiled a can of beans in a pot of water without opening it because he didn't want to do dishes. It exploded all over. Oh, did I mention that he is a FIREFIGHTER?

Scarred For Life

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My ten year old asked me one day, "How do actors act in slow motion? Like on that movie the other night when Hayden Christenson ran and jumped behind the couch while shooting! I tried that, and I just fell!" Only thing I thought was, "Where was I and where was my nanny cam?"

Hazard

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My mother, at her wit's end, punished my brother and me by tying us to kitchen chairs. Thankfully, the old 70s vinyl black chairs had rollers on them so we entertained ourselves by playing roller derby until we collided and fell over. Still tied to the chairs and flailing about, my mother could only stare at us and laugh because we "reminded (her) of dead cockroaches."

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