Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
My family was in a cooking section at a store. They had these little knives with loops to hold them. I was five at the time. I was swinging it around and cut my thumb. My Mom asked for a Band-Aid because I was bleeding but the manager would not give us one. My Mom took me into the bathroom and used some paper towels. Then we left the store. The end.
At mom's birthday at Olive Garden, my dad told our table about my mom's home surgery. She had a skin tag (white mole) that was bugging her, so she gave herself a local anesthetic (for an animal) and my dad sterilized his pocket knife and cut off. My sister then stitched her up with needle and thread. My uncle then said to me, "I see why you moved out..."
A frequently-told dinner table story: One day, my sister saw my niece sitting in the corner. When she went to her, my sister noticed bug legs (a FL palmetto bug) on her lips. She asked the doctor if it would harm her to eat the bugs and he said as long as they were not dead (they could have been poisoned) it was okay. She was actually eating live cockroaches. Gross!
I was home with my baby girl and I was vacuuming her room. The baby started to cry in her crib so I got on the floor to reach her pacifier under the crib and my hair got sucked up into the machine. I was stuck there for a long time before I realized I could just pull the cord out of the wall. I still had to untangle my hair out of the rollers while the baby screamed. Ouch!
I was ignoring my grandma so she told me to go get the mail and, as I did, she locked the door on me. I was trapped, so I yelled and screamed. I climbed through a window but when I did, she broke my favorite toy. I was only 7! I called my dad and he gave her 10 dollars. Wow, did I feel loved that day.
When we were little, my uncle would take my cousin and me to school and he would ask us, "Hey, do you guys want some donuts?" We would shout YES! and before you knew it, we would go flying around all over the car because he meant "car donuts" (spin his Camaro 'round and 'round). He did this to us for a few years before we learned our lesson and stopped saying yes!
On a school ski trip, I decided to go snowboarding. I stunk. Strangely, I passed it then we had to go down the hill. I tried, but I fell and could not get up. I accidentally knocked down the instructor's board. The guy started to yell at me then ran down hill. When he came back up he yelled again and told me the board had hit a little girl.
This summer, I babysat for a rather well-off family in my neighborhood. The mom went to a reunion. I watched the 2-year-old son, who was scared of me at first. Luckily, I calmed him to the point of going for a walk in his stroller. Unable to find the garage opener, I went out a side door ... and locked us out of the house. He just sat there, grinning from ear to ear.
My cousins moved into a house where homeless people had lived. For a couple of years, anyone who visited that house would break out with pus-filled bumps. A small bug would grow underneath the skin. The doctor would have to cut the skin and pop the blister. No insurance meant my mom was our MD. She would make us bathe in dog soap. It sucked, but it worked!
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