Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Lucky to be Alive

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At 16 me and two of my best friends were bored in the winter and we came up with a great way to go sledding. We got a sheet, tied a knot in the end of it slammed that in the trunk and held on to the other end for dear life going about 30 mph behind a car on a saucer sled on country roads. There were about 40 ways we could have died that day, but I still think it was fun!

Sufferin’ Siblings

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My sister and I would slide down the carpeted stairs on our sleeping bags. The sleeping bags were slick so we'd go down really fast. Our stairs turned and had a landing, so we would slam into the wall. One day, my sister convinced me to go down headfirst inside my sleeping bag and she'd push me. I said okay. We didn't break anything so our parents didn't mind.

Relatives

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Back in the '60s, my dad would bring home blobs of mercury from work for us kids to play with. We'd dump it out of the container and move it around with our bare fingers on the kitchen table; however, he would yell at my mom for using hair spray because the chemicals were bad for the air.

Lucky to be Alive

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My wife and I gave a long list of rules to the kids about our brand new hot tub. One afternoon we came home to find our kids and their friends doing cannonballs into the hot tub from the roof of our house. Our oldest was 7 and was surprised at how upset we were and with complete sincerity pointed out that it wasn't on the list of rules.

Pets

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Our children had a pet mouse. One morning, after they left for school, I noticed the mouse wasn't moving, in fact, was dead. Desperately, I searched pet stores until I found a look-a-like to replace it. When the kids got home they were astounded to find the mouse alive! They had accidentally killed it. YIKES!

Police

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I grew up in LaPorte, IN. When I was 13, my uncle got drunk and went driving on the back roads outside of town. He ended up driving through a couple corn fields and smashed through Bernacchi's Market, a gourmet grocery store. He was okay. Oprah lived just outside of town then and regularly shopped there. All I could think was, "My uncle destroyed Oprah's grocery store!"

Hazard

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Alone in the bathroom, I had never turned on the wall heater before, so I did. It burst in flames immediately. I froze and tried to yell for help, but I couldn't catch my breath. I thought I would die. Finally, I decided to try and turn it off. I clicked the switch and the fire died. When I got out of the bathroom, I never said anything. I was more afraid of my parents.

Hazard

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For some insane reason, my mom made spaghetti on one blistering summer evening before central air was common to us poor folk. Dad was sitting in his chair in his underwear trying to cool off, when my sister came bouncing along with a plate full of spaghetti and suddenly stopped in front of him. Off slid the pasta, hanging midair for just a second before landing in his lap!

Sufferin’ Siblings

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On one of those days when I got stuck babysitting, I overheard my brother tell my sister she couldn't make it though the hole. I went to check on them and saw my sis wide-eyed. She had no eyebrows and her hair was singed. He had dared her to drop a match in a coke bottle that he had sprayed with WD-40!

Crazy Parent

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As a young kid, I didn't really like pulling my own loose teeth out. My dad, a mechanic, would go to the basement, get his needle nosed pliers, cover them in vanilla ice cream, and yank my tooth out. It was never scary and I actually looked forward to it. Looking back, I'm not sure that was in any way safe (mentally or physically) or sanitary.

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