Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Lucky to be Alive

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My cousin got a raisin stuck up his nose at a family get-together. Those things absorb water and triple in size when they're in the nostril. It was like childbirth watching it emerge. After some Lamaze breathing and a lot of coaching, it finally made its way back down the nasal canal. We christened it Ray.

Property Damage

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My step-mom brought home a cougar cub as a favor to a local animal sanctuary. Our house pets quickly hid for a few days. During supper, the thing jumped up onto the table, knocked all the milk over, and during the melee, began to maul my little niece (she wasn't hurt)! It somehow caught its claws in the table cloth and then dragged our entire meal into the next room.

Relatives

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I used to put my head through the banisters at my Grandparent's house when I was younger and one time my head got stuck, my family decided to leave me there for 6 hours to learn my lesson. At least it was in the living room so I could see the TV.

Crazy Parent

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Santa brought me a soft-bodied baby doll for Christmas when I was 6 (1958). I loved that doll. My younger sister also loved that doll and she couldn't have it so she decided to throw it down the outhouse potty. I screamed bloody murder for a couple of hours which drove my dad mad. So, reluctantly, he climbed into the loo and fetched my precious baby out. Now that's a dad!

Scarred For Life

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My two older sisters decided they wanted to play cowboys and cows. As the youngest and smallest, I was the cow. They wrestled me down and then my older sister proceeded to the fire place and withdrew the fire poker. I struggled to get away when I saw the red hot poker coming at me. Thank goodness our mother walked in and saved me! To this day, I have no tattoos.

Scarred For Life

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At 2 years old, I was returned to my parents' doorstep by our trash collector and, luckily, friend of my father's. I had managed to wander 2-1/2 miles away from home (losing my diaper along the way), ending up at the intersection of Lakeline Blvd. and HWY 183. I am lucky to be alive and I believe my parents have since recovered from this experience.

Hazard

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My dad worked for a furniture company. When I was 5, there was a customer who wouldn't pay and came to our house in a rage. My sisters and I were terrified. Dad slipped out the back, army crawled around the side of the house, sneaked up on the guy, slugged him, threw him back in his car, and pushed the car out of the driveway. Nobody threatened Dad's little girls!

Hazard

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On Thursday, my older sister had to drive me to choir rehearsal. When we went into the garage, we found that the only car to drive was the stick shift. After that ride, I was happy to be alive. Every 5 feet, the car would shake! Never again will I get in that car with her as the driver!

Crazy Parent

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One Christmas, my kid sister fell into a duck pond. As she flailed and wailed, stuck like a turtle on its back, I ran inside to get help. My mother wouldn't let me speak until the adults finished their conversation. Always the obedient child, I waited ... then, big inhale,"SIS FELL IN THE POND!" I never saw adults move so fast, lips so blue, or my Dad so mad at my Mom.

Sufferin’ Siblings

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My brother bob was playing a new game at the park, ride under the swing A-frame, jump off your bike, grab the bars. He lost the game. Came home crying. Mom said "if you're going to cry, go sit in the backyard". He did, I went to talk to him & returned to ask "is the bone supposed to stick of the skin?"

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