Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
There's a "drive-thru safari" nearby where you can feed exotic animals from the presumed safety of your car. One visit culminated in a buffalo attempting to climb through my window, but top honors go to my dad. Within two minutes of his first visit, he got into a fight with an ostrich. It was a tie, but he still holds a grudge against the "velociraptors of the Serengeti."
When I was 12, a letter was sent home warning about an outbreak of lice at my school. My mother had the crazy notion that slopping mayonnaise on our heads heads would keep the pests away. So we were in pjs, heads covered in mayo and heads wrapped in plastic bags when she decides she wants to run to the store. We all loaded up... and our car broke down.
My mother, aunt, and my aunt's friend decided to take a road trip with us to the Virginia Pottery. Being crazy shoppers, they were gone a lot longer than anticipated and the road home was clogged with traffic. Mom didn't bring enough bottles and I was crying inconsolably, so she let my aunt's friend breast feed me. Yikes!
My grandmother truly believed my mother was born in a spaceship. My brother and I used to visit when we were children and we wouldn't know where she was at different points during our stay. She would be out in the corn field because they had landed or she would be on the deck with her flashlight communicating with them. I have lots of CRAZY stories. I could go on and on.
Once, my family (plus a bunch of relatives) went on vacation to a ski lodge in the Poconos. I think the only thing that we actually enjoyed about the ski lodge was the arcade. There was a Dance Dance Revolution Supernova machine there. After I had spent much of my vacation DDR-ing, my two of my uncles tried to play. Let me just say that it was the funniest thing ever!
My parents separated when I was 6 and sometimes I would go out with my dad. Once we were walking down a shopping area, I stopped to look at some cute shirt on a window display. Next thing I know my old man is crossing the street without me! My father was a distracted and unreliable person. I always had to go running after him an keep up with him so he wouldn't lose me!
My parents got pregnant young. When I was a baby (about one month), my mom accidentally locked me in the car with the heater on. She forgot that the back window was broken out and covered with a trash bag. She freaked out and called the fire department. When they showed up, they laughed in her face because all she had to do was untape the window!
One day, my stepdad (Farticus) and I were coming back from hunting. My cruelly brilliant teenage brain plotted. My mom was alone at home. I silently opened the back door and let loose a buck call. My mom thought 2 things(in order):
1. The dog exploded.
2. Bigfoot was attacking the house.
2 hours later, she finally came out of the bathroom.
My parents sent my two teenaged brothers to pick up a dead relative from the hospital and transport her body to her relatives via horse and cart. This had to be done in the evening and, back in those days, we had no electricity. My brothers both fell asleep and realized as they approached her relative's home, the body was missing. We never stop laughing when he tells it.
of Raising Hope