Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.
Submit Another StoryI have a fear of toothpicks and my dad likes to tease me about it. One day, we were at a restaurant and my dad repeatedly pretended to stab his eyes out with toothpicks. The waitress was standing right behind us. She looked at him and walked away.
One time, my family was at Walmart and I was in a dressing room. There was a bell outside of the dressing room and my mother began to ring it just to embarrass me. When that didn't work, she yelled "Do you need more toilet paper in there?" really loudly in front of the other customers. I didn't want to leave the dressing room!
My father was going to work on a Saturday. I was about 7 yrs old. He decided it would be a good idea to leave me at the school playground across the street and he let me play while he worked. I have no idea how long I was there, but at some point, I remember needing to use the bathroom badly! I could not cross the street by myself, so I ended up having an accident.
When I was really little, I liked hiding in clothes racks. I hid in one and my mum and sister went to look at something else. I couldn't find them so I went down to the car park to find them. A security guard came and took me back up to the store. Mum was there and she was hysterical. Let's just say I never did that again.
We were having dinner at my cousin's beautiful home. Her mama (my "Aunt Edna") is nuts. She was telling us all about some tailbone injury she had as a child. To fully illustrate her story and in front of 10 people, she dropped her pants at the table and insisted that my mom touch the spot where the injury occurred. My mom's face was priceless!
We were camping in a motor home. My granny thought we parked behind trees, so she went to potty without closing the shades in the bathroom. Mom went in afterwards and saw two boys laughing hysterically. Mom asked granny if she had shut the blinds when she pottied. Granny said no. Mom told her come and look. It turned out granny had mooned them!
One time, my family and I went camping. We only had a tent and it was pouring! We decided to go into town to get tarps. My brother wanted us all to listen to "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al. We hadn't heard it before. My father cranks up the stereo with the windows rolled down. All of a sudden we are surrounded by Amish buggies! Dad laughed so hard he couldn't breathe!
My mom and I were at a Winn Dixie at closing time. I was 6 years old and I was crying for something I wanted but she wouldn't get. She finally got annoyed with me and came around, opened my door, sat me on the bench in front of the store, and drove off. I was so scared I couldn't even cry. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life! I started acting better after that!
My mother's mind was going. We had gone out to dinner and she had a martini. The next day I went to see her and she said "I'm so tired, I was up all night." I asked her why and she said she awoke in the middle of the night and an opossum was staring at her, laughing. She chased it out of the house but not before it pooped in the shower. We dubbed the "Vodka Possum."
We were on our way to Grandma's farm one Sunday in 1961. Nothing was open, and I had to go to the bathroom. Dad pulled off the highway onto a lane between a cemetery and a church. I couldn't go because the grass was tickling my butt. The Church let out, and the entire congregation saw me squatting in the cemetery. We called it "Potty Lane" thereafter.
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