Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
We were having dinner at my cousin's beautiful home. Her mama (my "Aunt Edna") is nuts. She was telling us all about some tailbone injury she had as a child. To fully illustrate her story and in front of 10 people, she dropped her pants at the table and insisted that my mom touch the spot where the injury occurred. My mom's face was priceless!
We were camping in a motor home. My granny thought we parked behind trees, so she went to potty without closing the shades in the bathroom. Mom went in afterwards and saw two boys laughing hysterically. Mom asked granny if she had shut the blinds when she pottied. Granny said no. Mom told her come and look. It turned out granny had mooned them!
One time, my family and I went camping. We only had a tent and it was pouring! We decided to go into town to get tarps. My brother wanted us all to listen to "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al. We hadn't heard it before. My father cranks up the stereo with the windows rolled down. All of a sudden we are surrounded by Amish buggies! Dad laughed so hard he couldn't breathe!
My mom and I were at a Winn Dixie at closing time. I was 6 years old and I was crying for something I wanted but she wouldn't get. She finally got annoyed with me and came around, opened my door, sat me on the bench in front of the store, and drove off. I was so scared I couldn't even cry. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life! I started acting better after that!
My mother's mind was going. We had gone out to dinner and she had a martini. The next day I went to see her and she said "I'm so tired, I was up all night." I asked her why and she said she awoke in the middle of the night and an opossum was staring at her, laughing. She chased it out of the house but not before it pooped in the shower. We dubbed the "Vodka Possum."
We were on our way to Grandma's farm one Sunday in 1961. Nothing was open, and I had to go to the bathroom. Dad pulled off the highway onto a lane between a cemetery and a church. I couldn't go because the grass was tickling my butt. The Church let out, and the entire congregation saw me squatting in the cemetery. We called it "Potty Lane" thereafter.
There's a "drive-thru safari" nearby where you can feed exotic animals from the presumed safety of your car. One visit culminated in a buffalo attempting to climb through my window, but top honors go to my dad. Within two minutes of his first visit, he got into a fight with an ostrich. It was a tie, but he still holds a grudge against the "velociraptors of the Serengeti."
When I was 12, a letter was sent home warning about an outbreak of lice at my school. My mother had the crazy notion that slopping mayonnaise on our heads heads would keep the pests away. So we were in pjs, heads covered in mayo and heads wrapped in plastic bags when she decides she wants to run to the store. We all loaded up... and our car broke down.
My mother, aunt, and my aunt's friend decided to take a road trip with us to the Virginia Pottery. Being crazy shoppers, they were gone a lot longer than anticipated and the road home was clogged with traffic. Mom didn't bring enough bottles and I was crying inconsolably, so she let my aunt's friend breast feed me. Yikes!
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