Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Collateral Damage

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After my mom and dad divorced, my dad's brother married my mom. So, my uncle is my dad and my mom is my aunt, my sister is my cousin, and my brother is also my cousin. Furthermore, my cousin is my sister, now, and her brother is my brother instead of my cousin. I think my daughter is my niece and I am my own - well, I'm really not sure. Fortunately, Gramma is still Gramma.

Real Dumb

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I was about 8 years old. I had a sore throat. I told my mom that my throat hurt and felt real "sctatchy" like sandpaper. She took a Qtip and coated it with hand lotion and told me to open my mouth and proceded to coat my throat. I still tast the lotion everytime I think about it.

Lucky to be Alive

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On a road trip with my uncle and my newly-divorced mom, my uncle thought passing gas was funny so he did it A LOT. It was awful so I complained loudly. Fart, complain, fart, complain, fart, complain. Finally my mom had enough and pulled onto the shoulder of the busy freeway, made us get out, and she drove away. She drove quite a while before coming back to get us.

Family Outing

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I took my kids to Chuckee Cheeses. I set the 3 yr old loose in the sky tubes & kept the 2 yr old w/ me. I waited. And waited for her to slide down at the exit. Nothing. 20 mins ltr I'm panicked. I hand the 2 yr old to a stranger & go up in the tubes. I run the course & she's not there. Now I've lost 2 kids. When I slide down, both are w/ the stranger crying. I'm the worst.

Relatives

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Growing up I thought it was normal for the adults to announce, "We're opening the wine! Go get all the kids," then proceed to serve small glasses of wine to each child over the age of eight. As I got older, I realized that this was not normal and that my mom and aunt would get my grandma to drink then make a drinking game based on any time she cussed or talked about sex.

Hazard

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My step-mom brought home a cougar cub as a favor to a local animal sanctuary. Our house pets quickly hid for a few days. During supper, the thing jumped up onto the table, knocked all the milk over, and during the melee, began to maul my little niece (she wasn't hurt)! It somehow caught its claws in the table cloth and then dragged our entire meal into the next room.

Real Dumb

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I used to put my head through the banisters at my Grandparent's house when I was younger and one time my head got stuck, my family decided to leave me there for 6 hours to learn my lesson. At least it was in the living room so I could see the TV.

Collateral Damage

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Santa brought me a soft-bodied baby doll for Christmas when I was 6 (1958). I loved that doll. My younger sister also loved that doll and she couldn't have it so she decided to throw it down the outhouse potty. I screamed bloody murder for a couple of hours which drove my dad mad. So, reluctantly, he climbed into the loo and fetched my precious baby out. Now that's a dad!

Scarred For Life

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My family went camping and my dad brought his off road motorcycle. During the trip, he experienced a wipeout that left a 8 inch by 2 inch scrape down his forearm. After a few weeks of healing, with the scab ready to fall off, we peeled it off in one piece. During our family breakfast on Sunday, we told my mom it was bacon and she took a bite.

Family Outing

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My biological father picked me up from my mom when I was 14 and said he wanted to take me camping. Come to find out he tricked me into going to wait in the desert because the Virgin Mary was going to appear to me and convert me to Catholicism. He also told me he controls the weather (and I had powers too) and angels drive for him when he falls asleep (all dead serious).

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