Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Collateral Damage

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After my mom and dad divorced, my dad's brother married my mom. So, my uncle is my dad and my mom is my aunt, my sister is my cousin, and my brother is also my cousin. Furthermore, my cousin is my sister, now, and her brother is my brother instead of my cousin. I think my daughter is my niece and I am my own - well, I'm really not sure. Fortunately, Gramma is still Gramma.

Crazy Parent

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My step-mom brought home a cougar cub as a favor to a local animal sanctuary. Our house pets quickly hid for a few days. During supper, the thing jumped up onto the table, knocked all the milk over, and during the melee, began to maul my little niece (she wasn't hurt)! It somehow caught its claws in the table cloth and then dragged our entire meal into the next room.

Family Outing

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My parents sent my two teenaged brothers to pick up a dead relative from the hospital and transport her body to her relatives via horse and cart. This had to be done in the evening and, back in those days, we had no electricity. My brothers both fell asleep and realized as they approached her relative's home, the body was missing. We never stop laughing when he tells it.

Holiday Horror

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Santa brought me a soft-bodied baby doll for Christmas when I was 6 (1958). I loved that doll. My younger sister also loved that doll and she couldn't have it so she decided to throw it down the outhouse potty. I screamed bloody murder for a couple of hours which drove my dad mad. So, reluctantly, he climbed into the loo and fetched my precious baby out. Now that's a dad!

School

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During kindergarten show and tell, nobody was paying attention to me and my stuffed animal. I told everyone that my parents were getting divorced, which was a lie. I went on to explain that it was because my dad beat up my mom, followed by some even bigger lies. I was retelling the plot from a TV movie. My concerned teacher called the police who contacted my parents.

Property Damage

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It was a tradition for my family to pick out a Christmas tree. When I was 10, the tree was too big to fit through the door. We finally stuffed it through and dragged it into place, but the top left a green streak on the ceiling all the way through the house. Then our tree base broke and the tree fell over. My dad was so mad that we've had an artificial tree ever since.

Lucky to be Alive

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My mom bought me a new winter coat. I was playing around with gasoline and a big burning barrel we had that we burnt trash in. I guess I got some on my sleeve and I caught myself on fire. To hide the evidence, I buried it in the snow so my mother wouldn't know. It was like a dirty little secret and said someone stole it.

Sufferin’ Siblings

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As I entered my parents house, it smelled like a roaring winter fire (but it was summer and we NEVER used the fireplace). I also noticed that the backyard looked different but couldn't quite figure it out. Until I looked again and noticed that the entire fence had burned down and the fire dept was cleaning up. They said 'kids' were smoking - my sister was the only one home

Collateral Damage

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My Great Grandfather, age 93, was convicted of murder. He had been standing in line at the rest home getting ready to receive his dinner. A woman with a walker cut in front of him. He was so irritated, he used his cane and shoved her out of the way. She had a heart attack and died on the spot. He was sentenced to "life in prison".....

Scarred For Life

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I woke up one morning and my then 4 yr. old daughter came out of the bathroom with a dress on and asked "Mommy, do I look beautiful"? Of course I said yes, and then I realized she cut all but the middle strip off her hair! Then I looked in the sink and saw white fluff... That's when the cat walked by and I saw that she had given her a hair cut too!!!

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