Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.
Read other crazy family experiences and vote on your favorites below.Submit Another Story
My great-grandpa divorced a woman and married her daughter and they had my grandpa and his brothers. My grandpa's brother married my grandma's sister and his other brother married my grandma's cousin. My cousin got one of my friends pregnant, and then my other cousin got that same friend's sister pregnant. Every generation, our family gets a little more messed up.
My Mom decided to throw a birthday party for my 11th birthday. She invited all the neighborhood kids & made a big cake. Somehow I got food poisoning before the cake was cut but my mom didn't want to stop the party. The kids proceeded to play & eat my cake while I lay in agony on the living room couch. Once the kids went home my mom gave me some Pepto & sent me to bed.
When I was in the 4th grade, I came home one day with an itchy bump on the side of my face. I showed it to my mom & she told me it was from drinking too much milk(??). Of course it turned out to be chicken pox & I missed school for a week & a half. My sister laughed at my pain daily until she caught it & had to miss the school's carnival day.
At mom's birthday at Olive Garden, my dad told our table about my mom's home surgery. She had a skin tag (white mole) that was bugging her, so she gave herself a local anesthetic (for an animal) and my dad sterilized his pocket knife and cut off. My sister then stitched her up with needle and thread. My uncle then said to me, "I see why you moved out..."
One morning, while getting ready for school, I was unable to find my shoes. I searched everywhere. I asked my brother & sister if they saw my shoes. Neither one had. I asked my mom and she said the last time she wore them she put them away. Finally, after searching I happen to spot them behind the couch (out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom smile). Call me neat freak.
On one of my dad's fishing trips, the weather turned bad so he left his fish on the stringer to return to them the next day. The next day, my dad decided to take us kids with him to retrieve his fish. We were so excited to go. Little did we know that we would travel through the woods, scale a cliff with the Kern River at our feet and returned soaked from the rain storm.
A frequently-told dinner table story: One day, my sister saw my niece sitting in the corner. When she went to her, my sister noticed bug legs (a FL palmetto bug) on her lips. She asked the doctor if it would harm her to eat the bugs and he said as long as they were not dead (they could have been poisoned) it was okay. She was actually eating live cockroaches. Gross!
When we visited my grandma's house, we would play practical jokes on her. She would make her bed and we would unmake it. She would leave her purse in one spot and we would move it. She finally figured things out after a while. At first, she thought she was losing it!
As a kid, we used to have these big parties with almost the whole neighborhood. My good friend's grandparents came to visit. We ran to the bathroom and stuck extra large cotton balls up our noses, and as we walked past them, they looked at us like we had brain damage or something!
My dad is a big guy. One time, we went shopping at the big and tall store. The clerk kept handing him different things. He kept saying, "You're a size 38 portly, right?" My father cannot hear well and thought he was saying "porky" instead of "portly." Needless to say, his anger grew. After a while, he snapped and said, "Listen here, if you call me porky one more time...."
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