Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Submit as many hilarious family stories as you can recall. You have the best chance of getting published on the site if your story is legible and on topic, so use care when writing it.

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Your experiences

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Crazy Stories:

Crazy Parent

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My mom went on a trip to Mexico and I was left with my dad and 15 year old brother. My brother and dad didn't know how to brush my hair or comb it, so I was screaming for my life. I have curly, frizzy brown hair so my dad put my brother's clothes on me, took me outside, washed my hair with the hose, and put dog conditioner in my hair. What a wonderful dad!

Scarred For Life

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My sister bought a new dress and Spanx to go under her new dress. Her husband was out of town while she was doing this. She went to have her dress altered and put the Spanx on and then sent a text to her husband and me: "Have Spanx on. Can't breathe. Call 911." I laughed while her husband called the police, who went to her house and knocked the door down.

Crazy Parent

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My mom thinks that whenever I watch YouTube, I am using a webcam, interacting with the video currently playing. So now she thinks I know a hamster on a piano, that I know a 400 pound booty dancer, and that my "friend" makes documentaries about honey badgers. When I try to tell her I don't know these people, she just says "stop making excuses for your weird friends."

Sufferin’ Siblings

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Recently, my sister (who is 23) asked me if baby kangaroos are called wombats. After I corrected her, I went to my mom's laughing hysterically. When I told her the story she just sat there looking blank and said "Aren't they?" This is the same sister who believes turn signals are just a courtesy. Oh, and my brother is convinced he win in a fight with a wolf (he's 28).

Scarred For Life

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When I was little, I used to sleepwalk and sometimes wake up in a different room. I was so surprised to realize that I could teleport myself. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I realized I couldn't actually teleport. I was devastated.

Holiday Horror

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When I was little, my mom used to make two types of fruit slushies: one mixed with a lot of vodka and the other plain for the kids. One Christmas, she took them out and served them to the kids and relatives. It wasn't until later that night that we realized
she had mixed up the vodka and regular slushies!

Relatives

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The first day of kindergarten, the teacher kept calling "Jennette" during role call with the same last name. Finally, I answered but corrected her, saying "Jenny" was my name. After school, I went home and told my mom, appalled that the teacher had called me by the wrong name all day. Her response? "Oh, Jennette is your real name. We just always call you Jenny."

Relatives

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When I was a kid, our old washing machine would become unbalanced and make horrendous thumping noises. Mom would send one of us kids out to the garage to fix it. It would shift back and forth, backward and sideways with each thump. Being kids, instead of opening it, rearranging the clothes and closing it, we would lean our arms and upper body on top of it until it stopped.

Real Dumb

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After school, my father would go to the local restaurant/bar to relax. We were 6 & 8. He really wasn't an alcoholic. We played in the parking lot and became pro pinball players. Regulars always bought us soda and snacks because we were so well-mannered. We never got to do our homework and then my parents would be shocked at our report cards. Really?!

Hazard

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One time we had a family BBQ. My father talked all the women into riding my go-cart (Mom, her mother & sister). During the ride, they each laughed so hard they peed their pants! Grandma was last & was laughing so hard she could not stop the go-cart. My brother & I were dragged around the yard while holding onto the seat back until my Dad could jump in front & stop her.

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