Raising Hope

MON 8/7c MAY 27

Raising Hope

My Family is Crazy

Everyone has a little crazy in their family.
Share a quick and funny story from your
childhood (or parenthood) that makes
you wonder just how you all survived.

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Crazy Stories:

Pets

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I had a Chia Pet when I was 8. After awhile it didn't look so healthy -- turning brown and stuff. I figured if it was a pet, I should see a vet. So I took the Chia Pet to the vet, and they laughed at me. I think Maw Maw ate it in a salad later that week.

Relatives

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After my mom and dad divorced, my dad's brother married my mom. So, my uncle is my dad and my mom is my aunt, my sister is my cousin, and my brother is also my cousin. Furthermore, my cousin is my sister, now, and her brother is my brother instead of my cousin. I think my daughter is my niece and I am my own - well, I'm really not sure. Fortunately, Gramma is still Gramma.

Neighbors

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My mom was babysitting a large group of neighborhood kids one afternoon, all of which were around my age (I think I was about 6). I decided we should play barbershop and then proceeded to cut off everyone's hair except my own. Once my mom saw the bad haircuts she thought it best to hack off mine as well, thinking the other parents would be less mad.

Real Dumb

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I was about 8 years old. I had a sore throat. I told my mom that my throat hurt and felt real "sctatchy" like sandpaper. She took a Qtip and coated it with hand lotion and told me to open my mouth and proceded to coat my throat. I still tast the lotion everytime I think about it.

Vacation

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On a road trip with my uncle and my newly-divorced mom, my uncle thought passing gas was funny so he did it A LOT. It was awful so I complained loudly. Fart, complain, fart, complain, fart, complain. Finally my mom had enough and pulled onto the shoulder of the busy freeway, made us get out, and she drove away. She drove quite a while before coming back to get us.

Crazy Parent

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I took my kids to Chuckee Cheeses. I set the 3 yr old loose in the sky tubes & kept the 2 yr old w/ me. I waited. And waited for her to slide down at the exit. Nothing. 20 mins ltr I'm panicked. I hand the 2 yr old to a stranger & go up in the tubes. I run the course & she's not there. Now I've lost 2 kids. When I slide down, both are w/ the stranger crying. I'm the worst.

Lucky to be Alive

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My daughter had an imaginary friend named Cindy who often visited our house to play dolls or eat lunch. One day my four-year-old told the sitter she was going next door to Cindy's house and left. I returned a few hours later and she was nowhere to be found. The neighborhood went on full alert, including the police, who found her at a park two miles away!

Relatives

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My cousin got a raisin stuck up his nose at a family get-together. Those things absorb water and triple in size when they're in the nostril. It was like childbirth watching it emerge. After some Lamaze breathing and a lot of coaching, it finally made its way back down the nasal canal. We christened it Ray.

Crazy Parent

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Growing up I thought it was normal for the adults to announce, "We're opening the wine! Go get all the kids," then proceed to serve small glasses of wine to each child over the age of eight. As I got older, I realized that this was not normal and that my mom and aunt would get my grandma to drink then make a drinking game based on any time she cussed or talked about sex.

Pets

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My step-mom brought home a cougar cub as a favor to a local animal sanctuary. Our house pets quickly hid for a few days. During supper, the thing jumped up onto the table, knocked all the milk over, and during the melee, began to maul my little niece (she wasn't hurt)! It somehow caught its claws in the table cloth and then dragged our entire meal into the next room.

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