CATTLE COURT Air Date 4/16/06
Chapter 718

Reese is back at work at the meat plant. When a cute vegetarian named Carrie develops a crush on him, he pretends to go along with her politics. A pork chop falls out of his pants and he gets caught. Carrie dumps him. After the breakup, Reese dreams that he’s shackled in a courtroom, being tried by talking cows, chickens, turkeys and pigs. A terrified Reese is found guilty of “63,428 counts of murder.” Reese wakes up a changed man and takes Carrie to the meat packing plant in order to set all the cows free. Carrie thinks Reese is a hero, until all the cows run onto the freeway and get slaughtered.

Although he is grounded, Malcolm plans to sneak out on Friday night to see a rock concert. But the plan is in jeopardy when Craig agrees to cover Lois’s Friday night shift at Lucky Aide so that she can stay home and watch a TV movie. In order to salvage his fun, Malcolm must convince Craig not to switch shifts. Malcolm goads Craig into feeling angry at Lois. Craig electrifies Lois’s locker, but the only person shocked is Malcolm. Craig immediately feels guilty and leaves a weepy message on Lois’s answering machine. Days later, Craig stops by the house to say goodbye. He has quit his job at Lucky Aide and he plans to visit every IHOP in America to eat a Swedish pancake. Once Craig leaves, Malcolm finally caves in and confesses his selfish motives to Lois. Craig’s road trip is cut short when he’s run over by the cattle that Reese released. Lois and Malcolm find him crumpled on the side of the road. Craig confronts her, demanding to know her true feelings fro him. Lois says the only way their relationship could ever happen is if Hal is dead and she is ninety, suffering from dementia and asleep for twenty-two hours a day. This is enough to satisfy Craig’s hope.

Dewey and Hal play a more realistic game of “Life.”