"Hot Tub" Original Air Date 1/25/04
Chapter 510

So Dad got suckered into buying a hot tub, which I think is great because it’s a sure way to improve my social standing at school. Of course he can’t build it, so I’m on it. I think it’s going to be the best hot tub ever. I can already picture the bevy of beautiful babes coming over now.

Then there was a detour. Our babysitter, Polly, needed a ride to the store and let me drive her (I just got my learner’s permit!). She asked me to make one stop on the way – but when she got back in the car she screamed “DRIVE!” Apparently she stole her mother’s ashes back from her ex-boyfriend and swore me to secrecy. Needless to say it was weird. But hey, at least I was driving!

Mom was a little suspicious because the odometer had about 20 too many miles on it. I got my permit taken away for 2 months for being honest! Except I totally lied and told her I took the car by myself instead of taking Polly on more crazy errands.

While sulking and “WALKING” down the street, I was accosted by Polly’s ex-boyfriend Danny. He wanted the urn back with Polly’s mother’s ashes. But then he told me that HIS father’s ashes were in there. I basically don’t know what the hell is going on.

Then Polly told me that her mother, his father, a dog, god knows what else, is all in the urn. I didn’t want to be killed by Danny so I did what any sensible person would do – took the car with Polly and skipped town. Of course, guess who was in the car? Yeah, Danny. I finally lost it. I yelled at them because they were using the ashes as an excuse for not communicating in their relationship.

Why is it that the 15 year old kid is the only one who can be the voice of reason?