"Future Malcolm" Original Air Date 05/04/03
Chapter 417

Why is everyone in the world totally brain-dead? Am I crazy or is everyone an idiot? I don’t even want to think about my family – they practically top the list, but I can’t help but feel that I’m the only person in the world with half a brain.

Okay, maybe I’m just complaining, but it’s starting to really irk me. I was trying to explain all this to Stevie while we were in the park, but he just rolls his eyes at me every time I get into it. Then this guy started talking trash to me about chess. All right, all these bums play chess and there’s this one guy, Leonard, who beats everyone and lets them know it over and over.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so when he challenged me, I finally accepted. It seemed that Leonard understood. He looked down at the masses in the same way. He realized that everyone was an idiot. It was like I was staring at a fat, short, bald version of me in 30 years. Yikes.

Anyway, we had to keep playing because we tied every game. It got old fast so I decided to try and get to know him. I found out quickly that he has a small, mundane job, owes pushers in the park money and is the most miserable person on the planet. I hope I don’t turn out like that.

Either way, I felt sorry for him (I didn’t tell him that) but still. So I set up a job interview for him with Craig. I know, I know, but I had to do something, right? During the interview he actually bonded with Craig! He got the job. But when he came out to talk to me about it, he ranted about how Craig is the biggest moron he’s ever met. Of course Craig overheard and the job was lost.

The next day in the park, I went back to see Leonard but he was gone. Another bum gave me a note from him. He told me thanks for showing him how right he was about people and how “we” are different than everyone else. “We?” I refuse to end up like that! Okay, maybe bitter and angry at the world, but I will not be fat and bald!