"If Boys Were Girls" Original Air Date 02/09/03
Chapter 408

For Valentine’s Day this year, Mom and Dad were making us go to the mall to get new clothes. Man, I hate the mall. The window shoppers, crying babies, fanatical women rushing for the big sales. Ugh!

Anyway, before we got going, Reese and I were fighting – as usual. What am I supposed to do? He stole my favorite pen! So we broke some stuff until Mom and Dad finally came in to break it up. Reese kept taunting me though so I did what any self-respecting brother would do: I popped him! I know, right?! Right in the mouth and he went out cold. Everyone was in total shock. Of course I got reprimanded, but alpha status was coming my way.

To be honest, knocking out Reese wasn’t that great though. Sure Dewey started paying me protection money and it was funny that Reese flinched every time I got near him, but something was just off.
When we got to the mall, Mom made us try on stupid clothes while Dad had to go find her a Valentine’s Day present. Did I mention I hate shopping? I can’t believe there’s a line to try something on so you can wait in another line to buy it. There has to be an easier way.

So when it was our turn to get into the dressing room, some old bag tried to coax us into letting her go first. Well I was having none of it and told her to go away. But then she accosted me! With her walker! Thank god Reese was there, he loves fighting old people. But in the end it was good having the old Reese back. Or was it? I think when he pushed the cop and we all had to run out of the mall so we wouldn’t get arrested may be a little much.

Hey, at least shopping was a little more interesting.