"Monkey" Original Air Date 5/12/02
Chapter 315

Okay, so not a whole lot happened this week, sans the break-in in our house. I think if anyone actually did a scouting report on whether to rob us or not, they'd find $14 worth of goods and much more potential in a hostage situation. So, I don't know what all the fuss was about.

The cool thing though, Reese was the one who knocked the guy out. I think Dad may have been a little upset that he wasn't the family protector anymore, but Reese taking a baseball bat to some vagrant was really cool. Of course the side effects of such an incident are not so cool. Dad went around trying to prove his masculinity, Reese started his own neighborhood watch (which was more like a one-manned militia) and Dewey couldn't sleep anymore and kept me up with him.

Dewey was the worst actually, mostly because it directly involved me. But he was so scared of another burglar that he forced me to read to him every night. I even read the dictionary to him - the WHOLE THING!

The only good thing that came out of this was being awake for an entire week. It actually wasn't so bad. After awhile you don't even need it anymore. Everything is still the same. 2+2 still equals 5 and the sun continues to rise in the West…right? At least I'm about to get the world record for longest amount of time awake. I just need 11 more hours and the record is…zzzzzzzz.