"Cynthia's Back" Original Air Date 2/17/02
Chapter 312

Remember Cynthia? That's right, the Krelboyne girl that kicked my butt with her Israeli army moves. Well, she got back from a semester in Europe but she's totally changed. She's become this bitter sarcastic monster that nobody likes. I knew something was wrong, so naturally I had to find out.

When she came over to my house to do homework, she was acting like a complete bitch (strong language - totally necessary though). But suddenly, her sweater caught fire on the stove and…OH MY GOD! I mean…OH MY GOD! She took off her sweater and she, uh, well, let's just say there were two new additions to the family. She made me promise not to tell anyone though about her new, uh, stature. It actually made things better though. She warmed up and we were having a good time. Then Reese ruined everything. He started calling her a pig because he thought she got fat. So I accidentally blurted out that she wasn't fat, but had big boobs. Big mistake.

Reese then made it his mission to see them. Whatever, his other greatest aspiration includes beating the "most eaten sub" record at Quiznos. So he started subtly making his move. Asking Cynthia for help on homework, pretending to be this pathetic helpless soul - ugh! He created this whole plan to get her to take her top off. But when I caught them making out, I couldn't take it anymore. I told Cynthia about me telling Reese and that he was just using her for her breasts. She didn't believe me until I asked Reese what her name was in front of her. Can you believe he actually didn't know? So what does she do? She kicks his butt.

I guess that's two brothers down, one to go.