"Evacuation" Original Air Date 5/13/01
Chapter 228

I knew I was supposed to be home to help dad and Reese with the new couch. But Stevie and I were in the zone. We were cranking on our geometry homework and actually got two weeks ahead. I was an hour late, but c'mon it was for school! Mom totally overreacted and grounded me for two weeks. No phone. No television. No friends. And no dessert. It was so unfair. I stormed off to my room, while dad and Dewey went to take the old couch to the dump.

That night, some army guy showed up and said the whole neighborhood was being evacuated. A train derailed and caused some sort of toxic spill. He said that somebody had left a couch on the train tracks. Anyway, we all had to stay in the gym at school, so I thought it would be cool to walk around. That's when mom informed me that I was still grounded. Even in the gym! The Krelboynes weren't even allowed to come talk to me. It was ridiculous. While I was stuck by myself, Reese started a black market by stealing all the toilet paper and making people trade stuff for it. And Dewey told everyone his parents died in the toxic cloud, and kept getting free sympathy stuff like food and toys. Meanwhile, dad felt so guilty about the couch thing that he went out of his way trying to help people. When he found out about the "toxic orphan" he started a fundraiser - not knowing that it was actually Dewey. Everyone was having a blast but me, because I was "restricted" to the cot.

Then this little kid started taunting me in front of some high school girls. When I tried to defend myself, mom yelled at me again. That's when I snapped. I told mom that I was too old for her lame punishments and that we needed to change the rules. I stood up to her in front of the entire gym and told her I wasn't afraid of her. I mean what would she do? Spank me? That's when she threw me over her knee and started to actually spank me! I was totally humiliated. The good part was that everyone else in the gym thought mom was so mean, they had her kicked out. Plus, dad, Dewey and Reese had just gotten booted for their black market/toxic orphan scams. Not to mention that Dewey let it slip that it was our couch that derailed the train.

So while my family was shivering outside the gym, begging me for blankets, I was just getting comfortable on my cot. After all, I was still grounded.