Three Coaches and a Bobby
Episode KH312
Original Air Date: 1/26/99

Hank's old tough-as-nails football coach takes command of Arlen High School's team, prompting Bobby and his classmates to sign up for soccer.

Hank, Bobby, Bill, Boomhauer and Dale make their way along a dirt embankment beneath an old overpass on the outskirts of Arlen. Spraypainted on one end of the bridge is "Wolves #1!" Hank tells the others that the Cougars must take action. He shakes up his can of spray paint, then hands it to Bobby, encouraging him to create some Cougar graffiti. Unfortunately, Bobby drops the can, and it rolls off into the distance. Hank tells the others that what really matters is that Arlen once had a great team. In flashback, a tough-as-nails Coach Sauers grills his team, which includes Hank, Boomhauer and Bill. Hank pulls off a last-minute goal, sending the team to State. Back in the current day, Hank watches as Arlen faces off against the Wolves. As the two-minute warning sounds, Hank realizes that the team actually has a chance of winning. Unfortunately, Coach Maxwell sends Bobby into the game, this despite protests from Hank and Bobby. The decision costs Arlen yet another victory. Later, Hank and his friends conclude that old Coach Sauers would have won the game. They approach Sauers at a shoe store, where he works as a salesperson. Sauer is so overwhelmed by the offer that his eyes almost well with tears. Unfortunately, Sauers' abrasive, grueling, in-your-face style causes most of the team to defect to a nearby soccer game, which is supervised by Coach Lucas. The following day, Bobby also defects. Hank watches, mortified, as his son runs off.

Hank apologizes to Sauers for the way his son quit the team. Sauers gives Hank a chance to make amends by offering him the assistant football coach position. Hank accepts the challenge. Meanwhile, Coach Lucas continues to pamper his players, lavishing them with praise for doing very little. Bobby tells his father that his team won a game without having to beat their opponents. Hank attempts to regain his relationship with his son by offering to take him to see a giant ant movie. Bobby declines, noting that the soccer player who collects the most litter gets to play goalie during the next game. Hank ends up taking Sauers to see the movie.

While collecting trash along the side of a highway, Bobby sees the overpass with "Wolves Suck" painted on the side. Suddenly excited, he suggests to Coach Lucas that he and his teammates paint the bridge. Lucas embraces the idea. Unfortunately, he decides to cover up the graffiti before the Wolves have a chance to see it. Bobby begins to have doubts about the soccer team experience. A short time later, Hank discovers Coach Sauers chasing his team around a muddy practice field in his car. When the vehicle gets stuck in the mud, Hank slams his hands down on the hood, demanding an explanation. Sauers climbs out of the car and accuses Hank of losing the State game all those years ago. Hank grows angered, and uses a cooler to knock Sauers unconscious. With Sauers out of commission, Hank takes charge of the team. But on the day of the big game, the Wolves take a commanding lead. Bobby looks across the soccer field and sees his father pacing along the sidelines. He grabs hold of the soccer ball and, gaining his teammates' attention, points to the football field. He convinces them that the Cougars need their help. Hank is overjoyed when he sees Bobby walking towards him with Joseph in tow. Hank immediately sends Joseph onto the field.