House

2-HR EPISODE
MON 8/7c MAY 28

House-isms

Season 5

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He's brash, he's blunt, he's acerbic, he's...House. And, believe it or not, he does think before he speaks. Whether he's belittling his staff or explaining to patients precisely why they're so stupid, House is never at a loss for words, and we've selected the most outrageous quotes from each episode.

Both Sides Now

  • "Just warning you; I'm in a good mood and largely pain free so I have no idea how things are going to..."
  • "Where would junior high be without our ability to judge people on aesthetics?"
  • "It's a universal daisy chain of peace and love that throws buns at people."
  • "Isn't that locking the barn door after the horse has put his face between your breasts for an hour and a half?"
  • "Her lips say no, but her hormones say 'Oh my God, yes, more.'"
  • "Outcome two is that she kills me. I think it's fifty-fifty right now."
  • "That's the breakfast of relationships. Most important one of the day."
  • "I'm sorry, I'm about to lose you because I'm about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone."
  • "Three wives. And as soon as you build them up to be well, as self-sufficient as they were ever gonna be, they drift out of your orbit. And you get sucked over to a planet with needier gravity."
  • "Because in Houseland, and the rest of the universe by the way, when a question presents itself, it calls for an answer."

Latest Full Episodes

8DAYS

Episodes appear online 8 days after airdate. Learn more

Season/
Episode		 Episode Title Description Air Date Expires
8/21 Holding On (44:04)  
Holding OnA patient's illness has its roots in the body and mind.
 05/14/2012 11/27/2012
8/20 Post Mortem (43:40)  
Post MortemThe team treats a fellow doctor wary of their skills.
 05/07/2012 11/20/2012
8/19 The C-Word (44:03)  
The C-WordThe team treats a young girl with a genetic condition.
 04/30/2012 11/13/2012
8/18 Body and Soul (44:05)  
Body and SoulThe team analyzes the significance of dreams.
 04/23/2012 11/06/2012
8/17 We Need the Eggs (43:53)  
We Need the EggsThe team dissects different relationships.
 04/16/2012 05/28/2012

8 days

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8 days

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