House

2-HR EPISODE
MON 8/7c MAY 28

House-isms

Season 5

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He's brash, he's blunt, he's acerbic, he's...House. And, believe it or not, he does think before he speaks. Whether he's belittling his staff or explaining to patients precisely why they're so stupid, House is never at a loss for words, and we've selected the most outrageous quotes from each episode.

Dying Changes Everything

  • "He wanted time alone. I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass, but I didn't want to step on your turf."
  • "I dated her. Well, didn't really date her, more metaphorically raped her by having a penis."
  • "Either she cracked under the whip, or she realized her evolutionary purpose is to arouse men, not castrate them."
  • "My patient's still fighting in the feminist trenches, but the war is over. Yesterday's sluts are today's empowered women, today's sluts are celebrities. If that isn't progress."
  • "You can't hide from misery."
  • "I respect things that earn respect. This decision, on the other hand, is a dog wearing a cape."
  • "Familiar with the concept of sarcasm? Don't sweat it, it's new."
  • "She dumped me after I lost those last eighty-five pounds. Said there was less of me to love."
  • "Your conscience bleeds more freely than my head."
  • "I like you better now that you're dying."

Latest Full Episodes

8DAYS

Episodes appear online 8 days after airdate. Learn more

Season/
Episode		 Episode Title Description Air Date Expires
8/21 Holding On (44:04)  
Holding OnA patient's illness has its roots in the body and mind.
 05/14/2012 11/27/2012
8/20 Post Mortem (43:40)  
Post MortemThe team treats a fellow doctor wary of their skills.
 05/07/2012 11/20/2012
8/19 The C-Word (44:03)  
The C-WordThe team treats a young girl with a genetic condition.
 04/30/2012 11/13/2012
8/18 Body and Soul (44:05)  
Body and SoulThe team analyzes the significance of dreams.
 04/23/2012 11/06/2012
8/17 We Need the Eggs (43:53)  
We Need the EggsThe team dissects different relationships.
 04/16/2012 05/28/2012

8 days

Episodes are available 8 days after airdate to subscribers of participating TV providers. Learn More

8 days

Episodes unlock 8 days after airdate.

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