DIRTY POLITICS PIT LOIS AGAINST PETER

Lois decides to run for the school board, which thrills Stewie who will be somewhat unsupervised during her campaign. Lois runs unopposed until Peter joins the race in order to get his favorite teacher reinstated. He immediately starts negative campaigning that spreads lies about Lois and shows sexy photos of her.. His tactics work and Peter is elected. His first order of business is to replace the hall monitors with robots. Ultimately, his new policies backfire when Peter allows Chris to bring porno mags to school and protests erupt. Peter must publicly apologize in order to win Lois back and save face with the town of Quahog.

back to top

"To live and die in Dixie"
FG-309
Original Air Date: 11/15/01

When Chris Id's a convenience store robber, his family is placed in the witness protection program and sent down to the Deep South for their own protection. There, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. When the town puts on a reenactment of the Civil War, reinventing history by having the South come away victorious, Peter questions the truth and the town turns against him. Because of Peter's "slander," Sam's father forbids Sam from seeing Chris. Upset, Sam kisses Chris on the mouth. Although flattered, Chris tells Sam that he's doesn't like him in a physical sense.

Back in Quahog, A FBI agent accidentally tells the convenience store robber the location of the Griffins. At a party in the Deep South, Sam reveals to Chris that he's actually a girl. The robber arrives in the town and is about to kill Chris before the town residents step in and stop the thief.

back to top

"Peter Griffin: Husband, Father…Brother?"
FG-306
Original Air Date: 12/06/01

Chris gets a new job as the water boy for the basketball team. After being around the black players, Chris becomes a super-cool black dude in a white person's body. Cleveland takes Chris to learn about his own Irish heritage at a museum. Chris later visits a library to look up his genealogy and is elated to discover that a black man (Nate Griffin) was part of his family. Peter tries to embrace his black culture by visiting a black theatre and club, but he doesn't get it. When Lois' parents visit, it is revealed that the Pewterschmidts' ancestors owned Nate Griffin. The Pewterschmidts' give Peter money to alleviate their guilt. Soon Peter begins to suffer the discrimination of being black.

While at a basketball game, Peter looks in the mirror and he sees Nate, who shows him that he has been selfish. Peter announces to everyone in the gym that he was a jerk for taking the money. He throws the cash in the air, and everyone scrambles to get their share, showing that all races are unified by greed. Meanwhile, Stewie plots to get rid of the head cheerleader so he can be on top of the pyramid.

back to top

"Fish out of Water"
FG-305
Original Air Date: 12/13/01

Still out of work and now grotesquely overweight, Peter finally decides to find his true calling: fishing. He doesn't have the money to buy a boat so he goes to a police auction and overbids on one. Peter visits a loan shark and unwittingly signs a contract that will put him in debt forever. When Peter finds out about a mythic fish with a price on its head, he realizes that it's his best way of getting all his money back and his now repossessed house and possessions. Peter and the guys set out to catch Daggermouth, the man-eating bluefish. They go out and find the fish, only it turns out to be a robot. He collects the cash and gets everything back.

 Meanwhile, Lois tries to cheer up Meg because she wasn't invited anywhere for spring break. Lois takes her to a beach party and Meg gets jealous of all the attention her mom is getting. When it becomes too much to bare, Meg decides to flash all the spring breakers. Lois and Meg consequently get arrested.

back to top

"Brain wallows and Peter swallows"
FG-303
Original Air Date: 01/17/02

When Brian is arrested for drunk driving, he's forced to do community service, which consists of helping Peggy, a middle-aged, agoraphobic, bitter woman. Brian gets so fed up with her insanity, that he storms out of her house. Later, Brian watches a television documentary that reveals Peggy's past as a top advertising jingle singer of the 1950s and 60s. Brian warms up to her, realizing where her pain comes from, and eventually she warms up to him too. He convinces Peggy to actually go outside, but she gets by a bus. While on her deathbed, Brian and Peggy share a fantasy intimate moment, but as they are about to kiss, she dies.

Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and learns that a swallow has nested inside it. He wants to shave it off but can't when he finds out the bird is an endangered species. Peter eventually grows attached to the bird and starts feeling maternal. Lois is finally able to convince Peter to let the bird fly away and also teaches Brian about moving on with his life after Peggy's death.

back to top

"From Method to Madness"
FG-311
Original Air Date: 01/24/02

When Brian expresses his interest in theatre, Lois tells him to try out for the Quahog School of Performing Arts. During the audition, Brian turns in a mediocre performance and is dismissed by the judges. Stewie, determined to get Brian a second chance, throws a melodramatic fit. The teachers, impressed with Stewie's theatrics, enroll him in the rising stars program. Stewie doesn't realize he is struggling at the school until he overhears his teachers discussing how he and Olivia, the school's most promising but overly haughty student. will be asked to leave if they don't shine in the quarterly review. Stewie tells Olivia that they must put on the performance of a lifetime or they'll get kicked out, and their routine is a hit. Stewie and Olivia become fast friends, but the harmony ends when competition, pressure and fast-fame set in. Olivia walks off the stage mid-routine, leaving Stewie to finish the performance. Stewie takes his act solo, but is booed everywhere he goes.

Meanwhile Meg finally gets a boyfriend, a boy from an all-American family. There's only one problem with this family though - they're nudists.

back to top

"Stuck Together, Torn Apart"
FG-310
Original Air Date: 01/31/02

Peter's jealousy reaches new heights when he accompanies Lois to the gynecologist. As the doctor prepares to examine Lois, Peter refuses to let him near her. Later, while shopping, Lois runs into an ex-boyfriend, Ross Fishman, who innocently asks her out for coffee. Fearful of Peter over-reacting, Lois sneaks off to meet Ross. At the same time, Joe picks up Peter for a joyride in his new high-tech surveillance van. While parked outside a diner, they see Lois and Ross inside. Using the van's high-tech gadgets, Peter misinterprets Lois and Ross' words. Angered, Peter decides to make Lois jealous by hiring prostitutes to pose as his ex-girlfriends. Realizing their marriage needs help, Lois and Peter see a marriage therapist, who suggests placing video cameras around the house for a week. After viewing the tapes, the therapist recommends that Peter and Lois date other people during a trial separation. Quagmire, hoping to take advantage of Lois' vulnerability, invites her on a date to a restaurant where they run into Peter and his gorgeous date, Jenner Love Hewitt. Lois becomes enraged with jealousy and shoos Peter's date away. They leave together happily.

Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian accidentally super glue themselves together at the store. They have to wait a week before the solvent arrives in the mail. While stuck together, they actually begin to like one another. Of course, things return to normal the moment they're released from their glued prison.

back to top

"The Road To Europe"
FG-313
Original Air Date: 02/10/02
Stewie is addicted to the British hot children's show "Jolly Farm Review" based on Mother Maggie, a benevolent figure who looks after kids on a farm. Brian makes fun of Stewie for watching the show, but Stewie is determined to visit Jolly Farm in England because he thinks he belongs there. He stows away on a British Airways jet, which he assumes is headed for London. Brian tries to drag Stewie off the plane, but before he can, the plane takes off. When the plane lands, they discover that they are in Saudi Arabia are stranded in the middle of a desert with no passports or resources to get out. As luck would have it, Brian and Stewie encounter a Comfort Inn in the middle of nowhere and manage to steal a hot-air balloon to fly home, but the contraption falls apart over Italy, just as the Pope is about to address the masses. Brian wants to head home, but Stewie insists on finding the Jolly Farm in England. When they finally get to England, Stewie runs onto the set of the show. His fantasy is crushed when he encounters only a set full of props and disgruntled people, including Mother Maggie. Brian shows Stewie Charles Dickens' modest house and points out that Dickens was able to rise out of poverty to accomplish great things and Stewie will be able to achieve success even though he feels stifled at the Griffin house.

Meanwhile, Lois and Peter travel to KISS-stock, where Lois embarrasses herself because she doesn't know the lyrics to a KISS song. She redeems herself though when it's revealed that she once hooked up with band leader Gene Simmons!

back to top

"Family Guy Viewer Mail #1"
FG-312
Original Air Date: 02/14/02
In a special three-story episode, Brian reads viewer mail and tries to answer profound questions:

"Li'l Griffins"

The Griffins as the little rascals. Kid versions of Peter, Joe, and Brian decide that they don't need girls. When they first meet Lois however, they quickly abandon their anti-girl sentiment. In school, Lois reads a book touting the virtues of bravery, and Peter and Quagmire try to prove who's the bravest by staying in a haunted house overnight.

"No Bones About it"

Peter rubs a beer bottle and a Genie pops out to grant him three wishes. Peter first wishes that Jackie Gleason wasn't dead. A zombie-like Gleason terrorizes the Griffins until Stewie blasts it dead. Peter then wishes he didn't have any bones. The Genie transforms him into a gelatin blob and he can no longer have sex. Upset, Peter flushes himself down the toilet and winds up in Hollywood. He meets a doctor who tells him about a re-boning procedure. Peter gets the operation, which turns out came from bones donated from his own family.

"Super Griffins"

A tanker truck containing radioactive waste slams into the Griffin house. The radiation affects each Griffin in a different way. Lois gains super strength while Peter has morphing ability. Lois tells her family that they must not abuse their powers. Of course that doesn't work and the town is forced to hold a meeting to see how to stop the Griffins from wreaking havoc. Adam West realizes he must fight fire with fire. He volunteers to roll around in toxic waste but he only gets lymphoma as a result. The Griffins, racked with guilt, use their powers to make Adam's recovery more comfortable.

back to top